Have five hives in one apiary, had Apiary practical Exam next day.
Checked all hives early Sunday all well.
One of the hives has new queen due to lay any day (Tomorrow) no panic there all well.
Next the hive I have being using to rear queens successfully 3 in Apideas one in a Nuc and one I gave away to friend. Due eggs 23rd June. Leave alone until then all well there.
Next hive Lots of bees in double brood box so decide to split them placing eggs and brood in top box and queen in bottom box, now ill get two hive out of this all well there. Other three hives have laying queens one has banding (Mongrels)which I hope to replace with one of my new queens.

So what can go wrong.

Sunday night get call 8pm a swarm has issued and is now under tiles in roof not in swarm box I put out F@@@VXX it. I go check it out and try to access them but without success. Very high up and ladder too short.

Ok lets not panic don’t think there mine had quick look in hives lots of bees so there not mine.
Whew!!!!
Next day examiners arrive, lots of questions lets see records etc all going fairly well. How do they think of these questions?

Now lets look at your hives can we see hive Number 1 Ok new queen should be laying, I see eggs disagreement if they are laying workers I say not and stick by my guns. (Iam right always am!!) she is laying just started and will get the hang of it.Think they were trying to spook me Ok where is the queen do you think I (We) could find her. NO lots more questions check records. Lets move on.

Next the double brood box can we have a look at this yes, but I placed eggs and brood in top and split it from bottom. Ok can we see the bottom box and is there a queen in this. Confidant I says yes clipped marked white good queen.
Open box you couldn’t make this up the F@@K''ers are the ones up in the roof under the tiles do you ever wish the ground would open up and this is just not happening.
Lots more questions and this is just not going well. They request time to talk and do paper work sure why not. I then offer them tea or coffee even bought the expensive biscuits for charm offensive. They declined. They will be in touch in late July probably gives them enough time to put some distance between me and them as they try to stop laughing all the way back up the motorway. Bad day at the office how could my bees let me down so badly as for them FF@@@VXX ers in the chimney they will pay for this humiliation.